I was chatting with our most advanced in years church member last week, her children are grown and gone, her husband died. I think I was complaining about how much I had to do and hadn't done yet that day.
And she looked at me and said, "Someday you'll be walking around your house looking for something to clean because nothing will be dirty."
I'm young, healthy, and so are my four beautiful kiddos. It's busy, it's messy, it's stressful...but does it have to be? I was reading over at Preschoolers and Peace a while back and something Kendra said really stuck with me: You shouldn't be so focused on the "HAVE TOs" but should instead embrace the "GET TOs": I get to teach my children to read and all about David Livingstone in Africa and how to write a good book report and how to count by tens to 100. I get to prepare delicious meals for them every day. I get to cuddle them all afternoon on the sofa with a good book or a good PBS kids show. I get to help them learn the skills it takes to run a home. I get to give them warm, positive memories of home. AM I?
I mean, what do I really want anyway? A house that has no evidence of children living it and a bunch of free time to myself? Doesn't the Bible say something about how young women should keep busy so they don't become troublesome gossips? (I need to find that verse, but I have a beautiful sleeping baby on my chest and a 5 year old eating eggos in my bed next to me...)
So my prayer this morning is that I will gratefully embrace the noise, the mess, and the busyness. I hope you can, too.
Please explain to me why someone, who is becoming a popular speaker on the homeschooling circuit, writes blog entries like the one dated from September 1?
Here's the link to read it for yourself. I first saw it on Thatmom's blog.
Kevin Swanson's Take on Sarah Palin
These are harsh words spoken without compassion, full of judgement and scorn. I'd hate to be his homeschooled daughter who comes to Kevin Swanson with the news that she's pregnant out of wedlock. With a response like that, I'd think that girl would see abortion as a better option than a public, graceless, tongue lashing from her father. Apparently, it must not make any difference if you've repented and turned from your sin. Fornication, working outside the home, I guess these are the unforgivable sins?
Bristol Palin is making the hard, humiliating, difficult choice. She's admitting her mistake, taking responsibility for her actions, and choosing to give her child life and her baby a father. Is that contributing to the "demise of the family"? I'd say that's showing the world how God can take something wicked (sex outside the marriage covenant) and turn it into something beautiful: a loving family with a mom and dad who are committed to each other and to the life of their baby.
And this is the face of homeschooling presented to the culture.
OK. I need a little feedback here. My son is doing the accelerated reader program at school for part of the day and our local library has put all the a/r books together on the shelf for your convenience. Yesterday, my son found a very thick book called Magyk by Angie Sage. I've read some reviews on amazon about it and most people just think it's a poorer quality Harry Potter. I've not read anything yet about anything inappropriate in regard to sex or violence. But as a Christian, I worry about reading books about sorcery.
YET, I'm now reading The Fellowship of the Ring and I freely let my children read C.S. Lewis books and fairy tales.
So what's the difference? Does it matter? What do you do? Is it worth censoring in this area or will that just provoke more interest on his part? I think he chose it because it was thick (and worth 7 a/r points) and had an interesting cover.
We've decided it's time to send our oldest to the public school for part of the day. Each day for about three hours he will get instruction in reading, art, and recess :). During that time I'll teach his little brother and chase his little sister around and carry a baby that's due in a few months.
In so many ways, the decision flies in the face of so much of what I read about the homeschooling vs. public school debate.
Scare tactics, like those used by the HSLDA, that any involvement with "government" schools, the derogatory term used for them by some militant homeschoolers, means you are putting your entire family at risk for social services to come take your kids away.
Criticism by Christian parents who believe the Bible requires you to homeschool your children can make you feel guilty for even considering any other alternative. As soon as you add "God told me" to a statement it automatically carries more "weight".
Bloggers who detail their homeschooling days in such a way that everything appears to run smoothly and she is "super mom", but they neglect to mention the fact that they have a housekeeper who comes or young teenagers who assist with smaller children. In other words, they project an image that regardless of how many children you have you SHOULD be able to keep an orderly home and teach all the children so that your husband returns home to find you smiling and not crying.
Yes, academically homeschooled kids score great. But did it occur to you, as it did to me a few months ago, that if you had the kind of student-teacher ratio in all the classrooms that you have in homeschooling homes, you'd get better scores? Or the fact that many families attempt homeschooing and it doesn't succeed so guess where they send their kid? The public schools, which are comprised of a vast demographic of kids from every social class and family type imaginable. Everyone is tested, not just the "smart" kids, which certainly affects the scores of the entire group.
Here's my point: Each and every school, family, parent, and kid is different. You absolutely cannot make sweeping statements about what everyone else should do in how they choose to educate their child. Yes, I would LOVE to have other homeschooling families here. In fact, it would make the whole experience a hundred times better for all of us. But it's not reality.
So this is what we're trying. Do I have reservations? Yes, some. But right now, this seems like the best choice for our family.
Time will tell.
For all my "aloneness" in homeschooing in the desolate West with few other like-minded families, there is one family who live in my neighborhood and they've been homeschooling at least 10 years. They've faced a lot of what I have and their oldest just completed his first year of college.
The mom and I have been meeting off and on to pray together for our kids and we met this past week. She said something so profound to me that I can't get it out of my mind.
We were discussing (well, maybe I was complaining...) how moms make kids do all the mundane "boring" stuff, like cleaning and school, but dads get to have all the fun with the children. She said, "You know, it's like a continuum. Dad is extreme fun and extreme disciplinarian. If you get in big trouble with mom, then to dad you go. But mom's purpose is all that stuff in the middle, the daily stuff, the steadfast routine. And kids remember both!"
I just really liked the spin she put on the differences in roles and purposes for both mom and dad. Very cool.
We've been using this kindergarten curriculum for a few weeks now since my son is all about wanting to read.
I've looked at my neighbor's old KONOS books. I've read The Well-Trained Mind. I've read Mary Pride's Complete Guide To Getting Started Homeschooling (an excellent read, comprehensive in scope, for the person investigating homeschooling). I've called Sonlight and talked to them about their curriculum. I've used all Abeka as a beginning homeschooler. I've had moments where I wish there was just ONE way of schooling so that I didn't have to make a decision.
But using My Father's World has become my answer. Sure, it took me from first grade to fourth grade with my oldest of figure it out, but MFW is a combination of unit studies, Charlotte Mason (with the focus on living books), and Classical (teaching Latin or Greek, which we probably won't do, actually, and history taught chronologically). There's a good balance of work and fun. I feel like it takes the best from all the approaches that I like, especially the BOOKS.
Let me describe briefly what we did yesterday in kindergarten for our first lesson on the sun.
Math for kindgarteners is counting to 100, doing a calendar, using Cuisinare rods to form the letter S, counting those rods.
Reading instruction involves teaching the /s/ sound, cutting some stuff, touching the textured S as we discuss words that begin with that sound, reviewing other sounds as we've learned them.
The Activity Guide section of the book has a lot of ideas and something I've learned is that you don't have to do all of them. In fact MFW has a message board that has been absolutely invaluable. Today we're suppose to make raisins from green grapes, but a lot of moms said it took too long and wasn't really worth the effort. I think that's good to know! I've had my share of project busts! What we did, upon suggestion from someone at the board, was lay out 109 pennies side by side on our kitchen floor to represent the fact that it takes 109 earths to cross the diameter of the sun.
The Curriculum recommends a 6 day lesson cycle, with the sixth day a book day, but I've read again on the board that it's better (and simpler!) to just spread those books throughout the week so yesterday we read two scientific, factual books about the sun. Today we have some literature books about the sun on the agenda.
I've found my niche! FINALLY.
As always, dear Karen articulates this morning what I long for my homeschooling to be. If you're a homeschooler or thinking about it, please go over and read her definition of a "relationship homeschooler". My prayer daily is that I would love my children and my husband as Jesus does, to see them as precious in his sight, and my work around here, which so often frustrates me in its mundaneness, would be for his service.
So I'm taking Karen's wonderful thoughts on what this means and what it looks like as my own. I know I'm a miserable failure on so many levels, but in her Titus 2 way, Karen gives me hope.
Here's the link.
I had to take a batch of cupcakes to the public school kindergarten in our town yesterday for a church member who couldn't get there for her son's birthday for various reasons. I was glad to help, but I have to admit I felt a deep sadness walking through those front doors.
I really, really liked school. I loved everything about it, especially in elementary school: new school supplies, bulletin boards, spelling bees, libraries, books, science projects, school picnics, field day, field trips, my own desk, recess, playgrounds, four square, maybe sometimes gym class...
Sometimes, even though I know the worldview taught in the public schools, I feel like my kids are missing out on something wonderful and fun. My son did attend for one semester before we pulled him out in our little town, where I am the only homeschooling family of elementary aged children, and I was in the classroom all the time helping. I saw firsthand that things were not getting done, my son was not challenged, and that all those first graders didn't even know their vowels from their consonants by January of that school year. So I knew we'd made the right decision to homeschool.
This choice was also confirmed on Sunday when the valedictorian of the high school class started her moving speech with, "The hardest part of giving this speech was not falling on my butt on my way up here." *sigh* THIS is the top of the class?? THIS is the product of 13 years? The rest wasn't much better.
BUT--School IS FUN. I know my second child, especially, who is so social and agreeable and friendly and smart, would have fantastic days in kindergarten. Are they missing out on some rite of passage for American children? Would I feel differently if I lived in a bigger city that had co-ops, support groups, and a church that had other homeschooling families? Is it just the isolation here that makes it difficult? Do I just wish I was "in the loop" with all the other parents, especially the church parents who send their kids and are hugely involved in the schools?
I don't know.
I just love Kendra Fletcher's blog, Preschoolers and Peace. This gal is full of wisdom and great ideas for managing a large homeschooling family.
So I noticed on her sidebar the other day a button for a Motivated Moms planner and I clicked it. For $8 you can download a PDF file that serves as a 2008 planner with checklists for various chores and space to write your own stuff.
"Hmmm...I'm very unmotivated right now. Maybe I should buy that."
So I did and I started it today. I printed off 6 weeks worth of pages yesterday and will put them in a 3 ring binder. I've also decided to dump my old school planner (note: you can't plan an entire semester of homeschooling day by day. STUFF always comes up. Next year I'll plan a MONTH in advance and that's IT. Too much erasing has taken place in that planner. ANYWAY-) There's a spot for that day's menu, appointments, chores that must be done daily, and other jobs that might happen once a week, like changing sheets.
I'm excited because the worst part of pregnancy for me is the absolute lack of motivation to do anything I normally enjoy: exercise, cooking, eating, and tending my home and garden. I'm a "check it off the list" kinda gal so maybe this will help me!
Here's the link: Motivated Moms.
Seems the blogs are lit up again with all this discussion. Some of it is great. And if you haven't noticed, I do lean somewhat to the right on many of these issues.
I'm just not sure that the Bible teaches as a direct command that ALL women are to marry, have as many children as possible, and homeschool them, while raising goats and grinding their own grain for homemade bread. I think it's fantastic that there are women who choose this kind of lifestyle. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and in some ways, I live kinda like that (no goats...) But to turn a lifestyle choice into a command is a huge jump to me, and when it's implied that you're living in sin if you don't do these things, well, I just have to remember all the man-made laws the Pharisees enforced. There are basic Biblical principles that are non-negotiable: Raise your children in the fear of the Lord, teach them the Bible, train them in the way they should go. I truly think that each family has to earnestly pray about HOW this looks in their family. God will do the convicting if something needs to change.
As the pastor's family, we can only encourage families to seek God's glory in their homes. Sure, I'd love to have another family in our church who homeschools and does family worship at home. But I shouldn't expect that everyone else has the same convictions about those things as I do. And I can't condemn the mom who works part time while her kids are in school all day but is in their classrooms weekly, volunteering at extra curricular activities and still faithful to bring her entire family to church. Is this woman in grave sin against God? There are some authors out there who would say "YES!" But I don't think I buy that...all the scriptures that deal with the home and women's roles are so broad that you cannot fit every single woman and family into this cookie cutter of homeschooling mom of 10.
We have a family who is considering homeschooling next year. I talk freely about it with her, but I always qualify what I'm saying with, "I'm praying that you and your husband agree on whatever outcome you decide. That's the most important thing." I'm not trying to push my views about homeschooling on her, but I do refer books to her, share honestly about the struggles, and pray for her. I'm not interested in guilting her into it. She has to want it for her own family, not because she feels pressured.
My good buddy and I have been discussing this lately, and then I was reading over at Sprittibee (http://sbees.blogspot.com) about it, too, so I thought I'd share a bit about what we do.
My philosophy on scheduling is not so much to do stuff at the same TIME every day, but to do them in the same order with the same amount of time between each thing. Huh?
We might get up at 7 or 8 or 8:30. I might get full cooperation with showers and chores and breakfast. Or I might not. But regardless when we start, here's the way we do things:
Family Bible Time at Breakfast with Dad
Handwriting
Spelling Workout
Language
20 min. break to play
Reading
History
Lunch
Math with dad
Free time until dinner
Dinner
Baths for the little ones
Quick pick up
Free Reading time in bed
Lights out!
Sure, we throw the occasional playdate or trip to the library in there, but when you have a baby who takes a morning nap and and afternoon nap, it can cramp your style when it comes to stuff like that (which I don't mind-I'm a homebody anyway!).
I'm not tied to the clock so that I STRESS out, but the kids have a general idea of what is when and why. Sometimes we'll be on a roll, and I'm telling my 8 year old, "Let's just get the last two subjects done, then you can play the rest of the day." But often it's, "NOPE. I get a break after three subjects."
I use this same basic idea with my babies, too. My babies never got up at the exact same time each day, but they always got a morning nap about two hours after they got up, then they had lunch, then another two hour or so afternoon nap. If I had to push bedtime back a bit because the day ran a little late, so be it. It gave me both flexibility and structure. Usually, my kiddos fell into a nice pattern by about a year, so that now my sweet girl naps at about 10 and 2, then bedtime is between 7 and 8.
So would this post be considered a WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY post??
I won't restate what a lot of others have said much better than I ever could, but a gal on the forum posed a question about the pluses and minuses of homeschooling, and I thought that might make a useful post, especially from someone like me who doesn't believe in sugar-coating it.
Pluses:
you can teach them from a Christian worldview
you're the primary influence in your child's life
you're able to get to know them best
you're able to learn stuff you should have learned in school again!
your kids get to spend time with their siblings (which in theory should strengthen their relationship)
you can tailor their education to their particular style of learning
you can set the pace, moving slowly through difficult concepts and quickly through easy ones
you can do field trips with other homeschoolers (if you're lucky enough to have some nearby!)
Minuses:
your house isn't as clean as it could be
you don't have as much time by yourself (on duty 24/7)
you might miss out on extra curricular activities (in our state, we can still participate)
your smaller kids don't get as much attention as you're schooling the older ones
I can't. As a homeschooler, anyway. I am very optimistic every morning that my eldest will listen, obey, be enthusiastic about learning together. I have planned a semester ahead of time, checked out the necessary books from the library...
But each day it's the same story and I feel at a loss. I have literally read every child rearing book out there. I happen to have a kid who doesn't appear to respond to spanking, loss of privileges, isolation, or tomato staking. He can be as good as gold, then completely ridiculous, disrespectful and downright annoying to the rest of his family. I know I have written about slandering my children, but truly I feel so hopeless in what else to do. I have been much better about keeping my voice controlled and my anger in check. Yet, the struggles remain.
I keep waiting for it to get better. Waiting...
What am I? Am I classical? Am I a unit study gal? Am I a Charlotte Mason person? Do I use a combination like My Father's World? Should I stick with what's easy and familiar like a workbook type program like Abeka? Do I start Latin? Should I do Shurley Grammar instead of Abeka language?
I almost wish I had NO options and just had someone tell me what to do!!!
You know I'm trying to make an effort to spice things up with our homeschooling, so today since we were learning about the Franks and how their chieftans had long flowing hair, we decided to make yarn wigs as directed in the Story of the World Middle Ages Activity book. Sounds easy enough: wrap two skeins of yarn around the kitchen chairs, cut one end, take the long hair sew a strip of felt down the middle-instant wig! Well, I'm a sewing loser and my bobbin ran out, I tried and tried to refill it to no avail. The yarn is so THICK I almost can't get it under the foot of the machine. So now I have all these pieces of yarn and can't figure out how to attach them to the felt. I also have one chair still wrapped in the yarn.
I tried making a castle out of cocoa puffs last year, with walls made out of the cereal and marshmallows and butter and held together with toothpicks. That was one big flop, a mess of cereal and stickiness. From the same book, too.
I just want to quit. I feel like everything I try is a failure. I'm suppose to get beyond the textbooks and workbooks and DO stuff with my children but that never works out well either. Mine is not the perfect family doing projects together and learning and growing. Mine is mom trying to read the directions, screwing it up, the kids getting impatient and bored with whatever she has planned.
I can't win. I feel the darkness closing in on me again. I'm fighting the daily battle of "I wanna play video games." My 4 year old just spilled all the straight pins all over the kitchen floor. My friend who put her daughter back in school just invited my 4 year old to come play because her second child is bored now that the oldest sister is off at school. Nice. Yeah. My house is a huge mess: toys, clean laundry, thread, yarn...
My pet peeve is projects that dont't give you enough information. I need homeschooling for dummies or something.
I also need to do "everything without grumbling and complaining", another impossible task.
just didn't have the computer for a few days and honestly, have very little to say. Of course, once I start jabbering on I'm sure I'll think of something...
Hubby was gone at a conference and the kids and I did pretty well together, homeschooling and keeping house until tonight when I had a complete meltdown, and it made me wonder how in the world I would ever survive if something happened to my husband or if he was in a line of work that required him to be gone a lot. I shudder when I think about it. Yesterday everyone did great around here, but today was a totally different story. I felt like we were fighting from sun up to sun down.
I think what started the downward spiral for ME and my attitude was that my friend who had already pulled her child out of school to homeschool has changed her mind and is putting her back in. I firmly believe that every family has to make the right choice for their children, but I can't deny I am sooooo disappointed because I have no one here who has small kids and homeschools. The only family in our church has teenagers, so the idea of a co-op or anything is impossible. It would have almost been better if my friend had never decided to homeschool, instead of saying she'd try it and then change her mind. In reality, she didn't even try it, just pulled her child out so that she could have baby #4 and get settled into a routine. At any rate, I'm bummed. So, so bummed.
OK. I'm so indecisive about homeschooling curriculum. I'm looking at My Father's World stuff now. I've heard all good things about it, one person has described it as a combination of unit studies, the classical method, and the Charlotte Mason method. My friend whose going to homeschool next year is going to use the kindergarten curriculum, so I'm thinking maybe I will, too, so that maybe we can do stuff together. But now I'm trying to decide what to do for my older son.
If any of you have used this, let me know what you think!
This here's a controversial topic among Christian parents: spank for every disobedience, for some really bad ones, or not at all and use "grace".
I feel like I've tried the "spank for everything" method with my firstborn, who gives me quite a bit of trouble, and it hasn't "worked" (he's got buns of steel), probably because I have a short fuse and should NOT have been using that method until I could exercise the self control necessary to carry it out biblically. For quite a while now, I let dad do it because I hated how I felt when I did it (usually because I was mad) and dad is next door most days, so he's available a lot if we need him.
Now he's getting older and spanking isn't really an option for me anymore. He's 70 pounds and 8 years old! So I found this very helpful information www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com .
A reader wrote in with the following question. My situation is similar, only it's the little brother who gets the brunt of the bad behavior by his older brother.
Tomorrow--tomato staking-making him my personal assistant all DAY LONG. I need to get on my knees right now.
Seven year old won't repent
Question: Hello, I'm new, will try to post an intro later. We have 4 at home, out of 6. The 4 at home are a boy 11, girl 9, boy nearly 7, girl 4. The problem is with the 7 yo boy. He has been very jealous of the 11 year old boy for some time. The older boy naturally is able to do more things, etc. One example--our oldest son, before the 7 year old was born, gave all his legos to the middle son. The youngest son only sees that the middle son has more legos than he does. We explained that the oldest gave them to him before we even knew he was born--it doesn't matter. The 11 year old naturally eats more--he is in a growth spurt--the 7 yo only sees that he gets more food--The 11 yo had the top bunk--again, a problem.
He has developed very bad behavior as a result. He will suddenly scream (very shrill) when angry. He will accuse the 11 yo of things he did not do. Once he is angry, he is very out of control, screams, yells, is rude to me, runs away from me, etc.
It is hard to detail everything. The other 5 children are very obedient, rarely have had to spank any of them past the toddler age. This one is still being spanked almost daily--again, he only sees that the 11 year old is not being spanked and he is, and this makes things worse. We explain that the 11 yo does not do anything to get spanked and the 7 yo does. It does not compute with him.
Yet, he is often very sweet, loving and otherwise obedient. However, when he is not, I am often spending nearly an hour with him. I'm trying to make certain to spend time "tying strings" with him.
Any ideas for how to get through to him that the 11 yo is not our favorite? No one else thinks he is, not even the 11 yo. The 11 yo is very patient with his brother, does not try to get back at him, despite all he is put through.
Also, how to deal with the yelling and out of control behavior. He seems to care less about spanking, or any type of punishment. He yells loudly during the spanking, but it seems to be more anger than anything. He is never repentant. The spankings hurt, I know, because I've accidentally hit myself with the rod and it is bad--I've give up if I were at the receiving end. We use the Pearls recommended rod--a thin plastic plumbing line that is very flexible.
This is all I have time to post--any help is appreciated, and prayers, especially!
Answer: It sounds like overall you are doing very well with your children and this son is a unique problem.
I think I would cut back on the spankings. It's not that I think no 7yo should ever be spanked, it is because you appear to know what you are doing (as evidenced by your other children not needing to be spanked much after toddlerhood), yet still he is not responding. You say that he is "never repentant". If the spanking is not bringing repentance (even though you are doing it correctly - and most people aren't) then I think you should stop and try something else. He is an angry child already and he's just going to add spanking to his list of perceived injustices and become more bitter and angry.
You need to do something that will get to his heart and his conscience. Maybe something that is slow and time-consuming. Do not think in terms of "punishment". As long as he thinks that he can act up and just receive a "punishment" without really changing his mind, then he's going to keep it up. The real idea behind spanking and most other discipline is to get repentance - a change in spirit that leads to a change in action. This change is the most important thing and it sounds like it's not happening with this child.
What happens when you talk to him? The Bible says not to let the sun go down on your anger. I take that to mean that you MUST resolve differences and bitterness and anger immediately - "in the day you hear of it". Your son is not doing this (as you know). I think you need to work on this area.
I think I would move to a type of tomato staking combined with talking and grieving. The next time he acts up, separate him from his brother. Have him sit quietly on a chair near you. This is not a "Time Out". Classic "Time Outs" assume that the child can't help his angry outburst and just needs time to calm himself down. That is wrong and not the purpose here anyway. What we are aiming at is "reflection". Somehow you have got to get this child thinking aobut what he has done wrong.
Do not send him to his room for this. Without supervision he will just be nursing his grudge and becoming more bitter.
Okay now, once you have him sitting down, just have him sit there being quiet for a while. Then I'd make calm, serious attempts to talk to him. Don't try to "talk him into" better behavior. Don't plead with him or whine at him. Have a serious, sober attitude. Dwell on your disappointment with his attitude. Dwell on the concepts of what he is doing wrong. Dwell on his wrong thoughts. Ask thought provoking questions: "Do you know why you are sitting here? Do you think it is acceptable to get angry like that? Would you like it if Dad got angry like that? How do you think you should act when something happens that you don't like?". Focus on his attitude toward his brother: "Do you think you have the right attitude toward your brother? Do you think the things you are saying about him are true? Do you think it is right to expect everything your brother has? Do you think you deserve every he has even though you are 4 years younger? What do you think God thinks about a brother who is selfish and angry at his brother all the time? What do you think I should do about your attitude? What do you think you need to do about your attitude?"
I hope you get the idea here. Don't whine at him. Act disappointed and sober and serious. Watch for any sign of repentance. Drag this out and don't let him get distracted. He should not be talking to anyone or playing. Just have him sit at the table and be bored. After you talk a bit, just make him sit them some more. Try to avoid getting too involved in other things yourself. You can clean the kitchen and take care of necessary things, but leave the impression that you are thinking (grieving) about the situation with him all the time. After a while come back and sit down and talk some more with him. Don't expect in-depth responses from him, just a change in attitude. Look for him to realize that he is wrong. If you don't get that, then keep him sitting there until you do.
Now once you get this at least to a small extent, then you can move to a sort of tomato staking. Keep him will you as your assistant 100% of the time. (Or sitting at the table ALONE, doing his schoolwork with your supervision.) Explain to him that he has to earn the privilege of being allowed to play with his siblings. Explain that if he can not love all his siblings equally then he can not have the privilege of playing with any of them. Say these things with a quiet, sober and disappointed attitude. If you get angry you will just be giving him an excuse to feel he is in the right.
Personally, I would keep this up until there was a really change in his attitude, whether it took days or weeks. I'd keep looking at his heart and working at the root issue. If it works then slowly release him but go right back to it at the first hint of a problem.
I want you to know that I don't have experience with this type of child to this extent, although many children go through the same thing occasionally, so I am giving you my best guesses based on what I "think" I would do. You know him best, so don't be afraid to use your own good judgment. Forget the "punishment" and focus on getting to his heart.
Here is one of the verse I remind my children of at times like this:
Prov 6:16-20
16 For there are six things the Lord hates-- no, seven: haughtiness, lying, murdering, plotting evil, eagerness to do wrong, a false witness, sowing discord among brothers.
(TLB)
I try to instill in them a love for their siblings and also humility, which should prevent sibling rivalry. If this is a chronic problems with your son, the solution will probably take a long time as well. Don't give up.
P.S. I don't want to overlook the "tying heartstrings" issue. Keep that up, it is tremendously important.
In my three years of thinking and praying about how to homeschool our children, I've read lots of books. I've tried all Abeka. I've tried The Well-Trained Mind (I don't have a child who wants to sit and read ALL day.) I've used an eclectic approach from the wonderful timberdoodle company. But now...the latest attempt...
I'm thinking of making some drastic changes to our homeschooling day. Almost every day is a struggle, and I sense boredom in my darling son. I am forcing myself to get out of my own learning style, which is a teacher's dream of sitting quietly and doing workbooks and reading all day. My son is NOT like me in his learning style, and the sooner I can get something different going for us during the day, the better!
So I'm investigating Konos. My wonderful veteran homeschooling mom and pastor's wife neighbor (right next door!) has brought over her three volumes of Konos curriculum and I've been poring over them for a few days now. I'm begining to make some lists of books I need to buy and loan, supplies I need to locate. I will buying these books from her at a significant discount, as they're listed at $99.00 each. There is enough to do in these three books for an entire K-8 education!
Here's the gist of it from their website www.konos.com:
How is KONOS different from other curricula?
KONOS is distinct from other curricula in that it features:
· Godly character trait focus
· Units with all subjects integrated
· Hands-on, experiential activities
· Discovery learning
· Multi-level, family teaching
KONOS used the entire library as a textbook and the whole world as its curriculum.
The two ladies who wrote it had all boys. They believe that God put the wiggles in children! So while my morning will be spent with reading, writing, math, and spelling, my afternoon will be projects, activities, discussions, games...
My son has never said, "Is that all the school we have to do? I want more!" My new goal as a homeschooling mom is to make him say that to me! We are going to have so much fun, he's not going to know what to do! I. AM. DETERMINED. PRAY!!!!!
We've done the Abeka cursive for two years, and it's great, too, but this series I bought from my favorite homeschool resource company, www.timberdoodle.com, is just wonderful. The children work on Bible verses to write in cursive. I have a son who loves to write in cursive and who has just beautiful handwriting. Once he's spent a few days practicing a verse, he writes it on a lovely sheet of paper with a border to hang up or give to a friend. That's why it's called A Reason For Handwriting.
Highly recommended!
