The Accidental Pastor's Wife

Isn't it awful how hateful people are - I figure they must be deeply unhappy for them to be so judgmental.
We have people just like that in our church. They don't even want a baby shower for someone who married the father and attends church every week. "It's telling our kids it's OK to behave like that." I think it teaches our kids that God forgives us of our sins because He loves us so. I hope and pray your congregation is kind and loving to this young woman.

I figure that if we're going to support crisis pregnancy centers and be anti abortion, than we've got to give just as much support (or more) to women/girls in such situations in our congregations or families.

Saved or unsaved.

Yes-- there are those who will find it hard to not hold it against her, but hey the church is full of sinners, some just don't want to admit to it! ;-)

I have heard of churches in which the girl (or boy) in such a situation asks for forgiveness from the church body as a way to address the 'done something wrong' part-- you know church discipline. But it has to be done right, and some churches aren't up to it. It certainly can't be coerced out of the person. Then the church can move on and show Jesus' love for all involved.

BTW, I commented on your comment on my blog today. Thanks for your thoughts. I don't think we really disagree.

In our former church, we gave a baby shower for every baby, even the ones who were conceived out of wedlock. Our philosophy was that we weren't condoning the mother's actions, but we were going to be there to assist her in taking responsibility for her actions. Every child should be blessed, and that was a big part of the baby shower....laying hands on the mom and speaking blessing over the child and the mother. We spoke with the mother's privately and dealt with the sin issue, took it to the Lord, and tried to redeem the situation. Why should a baby suffer the consequences of the parent's wrong decisions?? My mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me. All the odds were against me, yet God had his hand on me and has blessed my life....and here I am....a preacher's wife!!!!! I know for a fact that there were people who wanted my mom to abort, but fortunately, abortion was illegal until the following year. I barely made it here!

You have written so much wisdom in this one post!

I once talked with a sweet young woman who did make the choice to abort her child because her dad was the pastor of the church and she knew, from having spent years listening to the church lady gossip, that it would probably result in him losing his job.

My heart broke as I heard her story, how she finally told her parents after marrying the baby's father and having a second child together.

Think of all the pain that could have been avoided had grace been given, even in a small measure.

Thanks for this uplifting post today!

Actually, the only difference between those of us who got pregnant and those who didn't, is that we got caught...that's what gets me. And those of us who got pregnant also have to let pastor's search committees and other ministries who might interview us or our husbands for positions have to know, too. Someone who just messed around and didn't get pregnant doesn't have to tell anybody anything...

We have had this issue come up too. I still believe that we need to make heroes out of women who keep their babies. We cannot be pro-life and not pro-unwed mother!

I did receive some advice that seemed good on how to handle this...that if you have the baby shower after the baby is born, it takes some of the social stigma off of the situation because everyone is all about the baby. But who knows. I think Christ is all about the mercy, and we should be too.