The Accidental Pastor's Wife

Oh, so true! I had to learn to stop letting people sow dissension between me and my husband. I did not realize at first that I was being used to get to my husband. Now, I try to guard against that. Can you imagine complaining to your garbage man's wife if he failed to put your trash can back in the right spot??? What's up with that??

I'm sorry. That has happened to me too. It hurts and I hope that it passes quickly.

I'm glad to call you just plain friend.

I really am beginning to believe that you are just in a terrible place. You know, not all churches are like this - some have kind and caring members who love and cherish their pastors and his family. As always I remember you in my prayers. I pray your Sunday is full of blessings. Oh yeah! Check out my blog - you're mentioned!

It's not everyone whose like this, but it only takes a few to cause problems and then that makes you suspicious of everyone else, like, "Are THEY going to be mad at me, too?" I pray, pray, pray that I will not let bitterness grow in my heart. The last thing I want to become is a resentful old woman whose lost interest in God's people.

Thanks girls. I wish I could hang out with you in real life!

My relationship with one of my 'best' friends was seriously hurt because of this. She was very critical of my husband's preaching (always talking about what she would have rather had him say in stead of listening to what the Spirit WAS saying through him) and other leadership issues. It was SO hard. She and her husband are teachers, and I used the same example - what if my child was in your husband's class and all I did was complain to you about what kind of lousy job I thought he was doing as a teacher... Somehow I'm not sure she felt like it was the same thing.

When we were called to this church, the Board was clear about wanting to let me be ME, not expecting the traditional pastor's wife. I have tried to embrace that, but I just keep getting hurt. I think that people see me as ME and then when they respond to me like I'm the pastor's wife it surprises me. There are lots of factors. But, you are SO right! (This is one of the things I put in my Crazy 8s meme for "8 things I have learned this year" - 1. There are some parts of being a pastor’s wife I just can’t escape.
2. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, as long as I realize what those parts are. )