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Slander

I'm doing the Seeking Him study and we're on Chapter Three now about Honesty.

Our memory verse is Proverbs 28:13 (let's see if I can remember it!) He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.

If we want true revival in our hearts, we must start with a humble acknowledgement that we are sinners and God is holy and good.

One of the most helpful parts of this study is the self-evaluations on each Day 5 lesson of each Chapter. This week's lesson asked such questions as: Do I volunteer for service and good works to glorify God or to impress others?

Do I see my sin as God sees it, or do I tend to think of it in terms of "weaknesses" or "personality quirks"?

Do I often leave others with the impression that I am more spiritually mature and committed than is actually true?

Am I guilty of speaking graciously to others while harboring hatred or bitterness in my heart towards them?

So as I'm reading through this list, asking the Lord to reveal sin in my life, he is faithful to do so, and he illuminated something for me that was quite shocking:

I slander my firstborn son.

When we struggle, I seem to be the first one to complain to whoever will listen. I do this from a sense of "see how I struggle and how humble I am about it to share it with you." But in reality, I'm just wanting to grumble. It's not helping anyone to hear me whine about how difficult he is, and as he gets older, he's going to wind up hearing me some time or another. It's also going to affect how others relate to him, giving him an unfair disadvantage to already have that "difficult" label.

So my prayer now is that I will take my troubles directly to God, then to my husband, then to a trusted friend who I know will pray for me and not allow me to slander him.

9 comments:

ouch... that's a tough one, eh? That's tough to hear and even harder to SHARE - but because you've share it, now I'll know how to be lifting you up in prayer. :grin:

October 27, 2007 at 12:56 PM  

it's amazing what He will show us isn't it? Hang in there - He's not finished with us yet!!! Praise God!

October 27, 2007 at 5:34 PM  

sounds like a very good BS. it reminds me of a point that is made in the book called " total forgiveness" r.t. kendall where he basically says one of the items we need to consider when forgiving someone is that we don't slander their reputation to anyone and thus we share our grievance with one other trusted person (other than God) and then that's it. that's a toughie!!
thanks for sharing and being open!

October 27, 2007 at 8:13 PM  

Wow, what a revelation. This makes me think about the things I say about my son. Thank you for bringing this insight before us to read! God bless you.

October 27, 2007 at 9:36 PM  

the seed of the thought started yesterday when i was commenting to a friend that my son had been invited to a sleepover and it was so quiet around here without him. she kinda laughed and said something like "I bet that's nice!" i know she meant nothing by it, but it made me think, "She knows how my son and I don't get along so well...it's probably common knowledge, and maybe she thinks he's poorly behaved, too...it just felt wrong to have someone else agree with you that your kid can be naughty...I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm so tired tonight i probably need to just get off line and go to bed!

October 27, 2007 at 9:46 PM  

Wow, your honesty is both refreshing and convicting. Thanks for sharing your struggles with such transparency. I've done that study and it SO gets in your business--but what a faithful God we serve, Whose kindness to us leads us to repentance! May He grant you (and me) wisdom and strength as a mom!

October 28, 2007 at 12:45 PM  

remembering the difference between sharing and slander is vital! thanks so much for posting about that issue... I needed this reminder!

October 29, 2007 at 12:54 PM  

You've made me think about how I talk about my kids sometimes. Thanks for that. And your reply did make sense, or maybe I'm just tired too!

October 30, 2007 at 3:57 AM  

Totally unrelated to your blog...I have a new book blog up and am wondering if you'd like to host November's book blog on Infidel???

October 30, 2007 at 4:54 PM  

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