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Bugging Each Other

As I get older, it has been made very clear to me that only children are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to parenting siblings. I've been saying this for a while to people I know. And here are some statements that seem to pass my lips daily:

"Why are you touching each other?"

"Why are you smiling at each other?"

"Why are you making faces at each other?"

"Who's making farting noises? Both of you stop right now!"

"No means NO! Now stop doing that to your brother."

"Why do you BOTH need the same toy. Just take turns."

"Ask each other nicely for that instead of ripping it out of his hands."

I realize that all the parenting books, of which I have read most, tell you it's pointless to ask the "why" question. Your sinful little sweet heart doesn't know the reason behind his actions. You just need to deal with the consequences and help him to make better choices.

I need some help in negotiating between brothers!


OH AMEN!!! Only children (such as myself) are DEFINITELY at a disadvantage when it comes to raising siblings. My two sons confuse the heck out of me. And I'm sure my daughter will join in the fun once she is old enough.

It just doesn't make sense. If I had treated my friends the way my sons treat each other they would NOT have been my friends!

February 27, 2008 at 1:11 PM  

Who knows. My husband and his 2 brothers used to always get into it. The middle one would never get into trouble, he'd just get the other two in trouble. The youngest and middle would gang up on the older brother. The older brother would boss the others around and they would rebel. Eventually they'd all wrestle.

At 39-41-43 years old they are the best of friends.

February 27, 2008 at 4:09 PM  

Does that mean you are an only child??? Me TOO! It does sometimes puzzle me, the sibling relationship. Our kids were 5 years apart, so some of that confusion we avoided. Good luck with it all:)

February 27, 2008 at 9:40 PM  

Have you read Don't make me count to Three by Ginger Plowman?

February 28, 2008 at 9:14 AM  

Pay attention to what you want to see more of. You get more of what you notice. Attention from you is the golden nugget. Ignore as much of the undesirable behavior as possible (if there is no danger or hazard present, of course). Paying attention to what you want to see more of will automatically decrease the negative behavior immediately and noticeably. It works with adults (ex. husbands) too. Practicing it will help it become natural. Be patient with yourself as you are learning. (I learned this at Nurturing Parenting Program - it works!) :)

March 9, 2008 at 5:02 PM  

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